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The Five Difficult Drinkers on Your Christmas List and How to Shop for Them

by Ryan Hudak on Dec 15, 2014 in Culture
The Five Difficult Drinkers on Your Christmas List and How to Shop for Them

As an adult—and specifically as an adult who reads websites dedicated to drinking alcoholic beverages—it is unavoidable that you will end up buying some boozy gifts for your buddies. Sometimes, though, it’s not as easy as picking up a random six pack and jamming it in their stocking. Everyone has a multitude of tastes that range through all types of booze and from pedestrian to complex. To make your holiday shopping a bit easier (so you’ll have more time to drink your own adult beverages), we’ve put together a quick list of the kinds of people that may crop up on your list and how you should shop for them.

The Freshness Prince: “Thanks so much for the Heady Topper cans! You shouldn’t have—really. I’m assuming the cans took two to three days to get here, and then you had to wrap them and wait for our gift exchange, so at best they’re a week old. You know hops fade over time, right? You probably can’t even taste them anymore…”
What to Get Them: If you can’t bring a growler straight from the brewery in a 12-hour timeframe, stick to something simple that doesn’t require day-of drinking.

Light-Headed: “Sam Adams Lager? I don’t know, dude—it looks pretty dark. You know I don’t like those dark beers. They’re just so thick and heavy. Do you have anything normal like Coors Light?”
What to Get Them: Bottled water. They clearly don’t like beer.

The Wine Snob: “Wait, you pair beer with cheese? That’s adorable. You really should invite me over to one of your beer dinners—it sounds like such a novel idea. But seriously, let me show you a real pairing.”
What to Get Them: If you don’t know anything about wine, try to find out their favorite style (or at the very least, their preferred color). And if you’re lucky enough to find a Txakolina wine at the local Wine & Spirits, blow their minds with it by pretending you knew what it was.

The Crazy Cocktail Lady: “Do you like the drink? I had Pisco imported from Peru, so I mixed it with muddled verbena leaves, some foraged thyme, simple syrup, rose water, lavender water, and a homemade herbal tincture. It’s made with a Scotch float and an Absinthe rinse.”
What to get them: A counter-top herb garden would be great for their muddling, or any number of different interesting vials to hold their “tinctures.”

The Rare Breed: “Basil Hayden? That’s good bourbon and all, but it’s no Pappy. And if you can find some, the 30-year would be great. I guess I would settle for the 12-year, but don’t bother with the 10—I hear you can find that anywhere.”
What to Get Them: You’re not going to find Pappy, and if you do there’s a 98% change it will be out of your Christmas budget for your friend (and if it’s not, we should hang out sometime). While it’s not super rare, pick them up the WL Weller’s Special Reserve—it is the same mash as Pappy, but only aged four years. Close enough.

Photo via Primer Magazine


Tags: Beer, Cocktails, Holiday, Spirits, Wine
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