Spirit of Philadelphia Holiday 2017 Leaderboard

Things No One Asked For: Fireball Gummy Candies

by Ryan Hudak on Jun 13, 2017 in Culture

We love to cover all of the garbage people who laugh in the face of alcohol being called an “adult beverage” with their attempts to make drinking it as juvenile as possible. Now, we’ve got two more leading the charge on Etsy.  Both Irish Confectionery Co. and VineGelee are now selling gummy bears spiked with Fireball.  

In the past, companies have made gummy bears flavored with rosé, champagne, mulled wine—you know, classy ways to booze up your candy.  But now, they’re taking to the dregs of liquor drinkers and making gummy bears with beginner-level booze.  Although it does make a certain sense, because the people who drink Fireball are probably at an age where they can still pass for trick-or-treaters, so mixing this stuff with candy is probably spot-on.  
 
If Fireball gummy bears doesn’t sound sickly enough for you, Irish Confectionery Co also makes bears that come in orange creamsicle whiskey flavor—just be sure your toothpaste is up to snuff, because you’re going to be risking getting cavities when you chew them as well as when you throw them back up later.
 
Finally, if shitty booze isn’t quite your thing, but you still want to get drunk off candy, VineGelee also has packages of pale ale “Brewski Bears”—perfect for Father’s Day, especially since you can order them and just walk them down from the bedroom you still live in at your parents’ place.  Unfortunately, there is no word on when they’ll appeal to the Fireball/novice drinker crowd and release some PBR gummy bears, or make Goldschlager gummies (because OMG it has real gold in it!!!).
 
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