Ballantine Beer Leaderboard
Gogol Bordello header

The Shark Week Drinking Game

Who doesn't love sharks?
by The Drink Nation on Aug 4, 2014 in Culture
The Shark Week Drinking Game

Shark Week is one of cable's television's longest-running annual programs — this marks year 27 for the series. Broadcast in more than 72 countries around the globe, the Discovery Channel's week-long parade of television programs devoted to the ferocious fish was originally developed to help the average person have greater respect for sharks. The 2014 edition begins August 10, to show our respect, we've developed a way to enjoy this ocean extravaganza even more.

Without further ado, we give you:

The Shark Week Drinking Game

Things you will need: Television, vacation days, Shark Bites Fruit Snacks (optional, but totally delicious), something to sit on or lean against and your favorite beer or drink. We’ll recommend something with a low ABV, to ensure you stay conscious through the scheduled programming.

The Rules:

1. Drink every time — and for the full duration of time — someone’s credentials are cited. If there’s one thing wildlife experts love more than speaking in foreign accents, it’s listing their qualifications. Use this to your advantage and take a sip every time a show displays on screen, or announces, the reason you should take the speaker seriously, at least about the subject at hand.

Note: This extends to everyone. Including John Doe, who lost his leg in ‘99 challenging a Great White to a game of water polo, as well as the professor who wrote the book The Dangers of Playing Water Polo With Sharks.

2. Drink every time someone says, "this species of shark is normally very peaceful."

3. Drink every time a different species of shark appears on-screen. Even though the Discovery Channel will use that completely awesome clip of the Great White defying gravity by jumping 10 feet into the air, there are many, many different types of sharks. Take a sip every time one of these awesome creatures blesses you with its presence.

4. Drink every time you think to yourself, "I hope this yuppie just gets mauled."

5. Drink every time shark attack odds are given. Though the odds of actually being attacked by a shark are low, the chance that the narrator or interviewee will tell you this fact every chance they get is extremely high.

Note: If you are brave, you can add to this by drinking every time a shark statistic is given. However, it is ill advised to do during programming dubbed “Shark Week.”

6. Drink every time some yuppie just gets mauled.

7. Drink every time a shark eats and/or attacks something — humans included. Let’s be honest, other than this drinking game, the reason to watch Shark Week is to see one wreak havoc on unsuspecting aquatic life or pesky swimmers. Indulge yourself in a drink each time this happens. This includes mauling of inanimate objects as well, such as boats, cages or fake seals.

8. Drink every time the host says something completely unfunny and you think to yourself, "I hope this yuppie just gets mauled."

9. Drink every time a shark’s dorsal fin protrudes from the water. Sharks are sneaky creatures, hovering just below the surface of the water to stalk victims. It's like they know the image of that tip of the fin is scary on its own.

10. Drink for the duration of each slow-motion clip. The marriage of slow-motion photography and sharks is the most important thing to happen to television since MacGyver. Whether it be slow-mo reenactments of attacks or the classic Great White hurling itself through the air, raise your glass in a continuous toast to the highlight reels of Shark Week.

11. Drink every time you see a shark. (This drinking game goes to eleven.)

Happy Shark Week!

 

 

Recent Articles
3rd Annual Troegs Ugly Christmas Sweater Party at Revolution House, Dec 19
Enjoy the Feast of Seven Fishes All December Long at Panorama
Bainbridge St Barrel House Taps Pizza Boy Hop Test #1 (Boo Berry) Saturday, Dec 20
spacer
Drink Philly Craft Beer New Year Header
From Around The Web

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Bainbridge St Barrel House Taps Pizza Boy Hop Test #1 (Boo Berry) Saturday, Dec 20

Bainbridge St Barrel House Taps Pizza Boy Hop Test #1 (Boo Berry) Saturday, Dec 20

They will be tapping it this Saturday morning for brunch and will be pairing it with Boo Berry cereal creation...read more ›

by Drink Philly Dec 18, 2014
Stephen Colbert Sells Naming Rights to his Show to Dewar's Scotch

Stephen Colbert Sells Naming Rights to his Show to Dewar's Scotch

The final episode of The Colbert Report, or should we say The Colbdewar's Repewars, airs tonight on Comedy Central. ...read more ›

by The Drink Nation Dec 18, 2014
SPONSORED
Perch Pub Brunch Rectangle
Free Ride: Sign up for Uber With a Drink Philly Promo Code

Free Ride: Sign up for Uber With a Drink Philly Promo Code

Getting home after a night of fun can be a pain, especially if you've been drinking at a bar tucked into one of many Philly neighborhoods where cabs d...read more ›

by Drink Philly Oct 8, 2014
What to Drink at Palladino's, Opening December 18 on East Passyunk
by Drink Philly Dec 18, 2014
Where to Host a Private Event in Philadelphia

Where to Host a Private Event in Philadelphia

Whether for work or home, sometimes you're looking for a place you can take 20 or more people for a party...read more ›

by Drink Philly Nov 15, 2014
Welcome to the Mile High [Cocktail] Club

Welcome to the Mile High [Cocktail] Club

The Carry On Cocktail Kit allows you to mix up some better than average in-flight drinks....read more ›

by Nasira B. Latif Dec 15, 2014
The Five Difficult Drinkers on Your Christmas List and How to Shop for Them

The Five Difficult Drinkers on Your Christmas List and How to Shop for Them

Sometimes it's not as easy as picking up a random six pack and jamming it in your friend's stocking. That's wh...read more ›

by Ryan Hudak Dec 15, 2014
Home Bar Project: How to Make a Gold Rush

Home Bar Project: How to Make a Gold Rush

Have you ever dreamed of having an amazing home bar, filled with bottles you actually use and the tools you need to execute a finely crafted cocktail?...read more ›

by The Drink Nation Dec 15, 2014
Beer Review: Great Divide's Hibernation Ale

Beer Review: Great Divide's Hibernation Ale

Hibernation is a hearty English Style Old Ale that would rouse the most snoozy bear from slumber....read more ›

by Nathan Solheim Dec 12, 2014
SPONSORED
Craft Beer New Year Desktop rectangle
View all Articles

Like us on Facebook!

Close