Spirit Cruises January 2023 Leaderboard

Bud Light Drinkers Must Really Be 'Up for Whatever' to Grab One of These Bottles

by Ryan Hudak on Mar 17, 2015 in Beer
Bud Light Drinkers Must Really Be 'Up for Whatever' to Grab One of These Bottles

Dear Bud Light Drinkers: You are idiots.

Before you get upset, that’s not coming from me (though I’ve had my doubts), but straight from Budweiser. Since making fun of the craft beer segment that they are so desperately trying to buy their way into didn’t go over very well, Bud is falling back on their “Up for Whatever” garbage to try to be hip and cool and appeal to millennials. And they’re doing that with hilarious phrases telling you which whacky situations Bud Light is perfect for.

"Our fans will truly need to be 'Up for Whatever' when they're enjoying a Bud Light out on the town," said Alex Lambrecht, vice president of Bud Light. "We think they'll have fun doing the ideas printed on our bottles.” You will have SO MUCH fun! Dust off that Jock Jams CD, Bud Light drinker, and cue up “Get Ready for This,” because you truly better be up for whatever if you’re going to follow the Bud Light labels with such crazy notions as it being the perfect beer for “tuning up the old air guitar,” “taking off the blindfold and showing that piñata who’s boss” or “when you’re eating breakfast meats outside of breakfast hours.” WOAH! Slow down, Bud Light! My millennial 30-second attention span brain can only handle so much excitement, and you are juicing up all my party receptors to full blast!

The best saying so far, though, is that Bud Light is “the perfect beer for passionately toasting things you really don’t know much about.” You know, because you’re stupid. But I wonder what these things you don’t know about could possibly be. What millennials actually want in their advertising? How to make commercials that don’t directly offend breweries you just bought and want to work with? How to make good beer?

But why does AB-InBev think you’re idiots? Because they actually think this will work on you. They’re so profoundly misguided as to think anyone at all will give a shit about what is on these labels and, even worse, will actually try to perform any of the inane phrases on the bottle. Even Carol Phillips, president of the Brand Amplitude consulting firm that specializes in millennials, knows absolutely nothing about millennials. "While the big brands are still big, the little guys are cooler and hipper. So if you are a big brand, you've got to do the things that only big brands can do. A little brand can't do this.” She also said Bud Light "can't be a craft beer. So what can they do? They can leverage their scale to bring some experiences that you can't get from a craft beer."

Thank god. And thank you, Carol, for recognizing exactly what I want with my beer. Every time I sit down with a pretentious, $7 craft beer, I think, “this is delicious and all, but it’s lacking some kind of experience.” But not anymore, because I’ve found “the perfect beer for forming a one-person conga line.” All is right in the world once again.

Photo via Bud Light

 


Tags: Beer
Recent Articles
spacer

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Canada's Next Level Response to Tariffs Removes All U.S. Wine & Spirits From the Shelves

Canada's Next Level Response to Tariffs Removes All U.S. Wine & Spirits From the Shelves

Part of Canada's response, their retaliation, to the tariffs imposed on Canadian goods coming into the U.S. ha...read more ›

by Lew Bryson Mar 17, 2025
Philadelphia Craft Ice Co: Inside Look at the Ice Elevating Philly's Cocktail Scene

Philadelphia Craft Ice Co: Inside Look at the Ice Elevating Philly's Cocktail Scene

Philadelphia Craft Ice is the first artisanal ice company in Philly focused on elevating the quality of cockta...read more ›

by Drink Philly Mar 9, 2025
The Drink Nation Presents: The Home Bar Project

The Drink Nation Presents: The Home Bar Project

Have you ever dreamed of having an amazing home bar, filled with bottles you actually use and the tools you need to execute a fine crafted cocktail? E...read more ›

by The Drink Nation Nov 14, 2014
SPONSORED
Spirit Cruises January 2023 Desktop Bottom Rectangle 1
Franklin Mortgage Launches Pop-up Flower Shop & Speakeasy for Flower Show, March 2-8

Franklin Mortgage Launches Pop-up Flower Shop & Speakeasy for Flower Show, March 2-8

The Franklin Mortgage in Rittenhouse is transforming their entire space into a pop-up flower shop featuring a ...read more ›

by Drink Philly Feb 25, 2025
Local Winery Spotlight: Vox Vineti Wines

Local Winery Spotlight: Vox Vineti Wines

Ed Lazzerini says his goal is clear - to make world class wine in Pennsylvania. From the taste of it, he is well on his way. ...read more ›

by Drink Philly Nov 21, 2020
The 12th Annual Philly Bierfest Celebrates the Rich History of Brewing German-Style Beers in Pennsylvania, February 22

The 12th Annual Philly Bierfest Celebrates the Rich History of Brewing German-Style Beers in Pennsylvania, February 22

The German Society of Philadelphia's 12 Annual Bierfest returns February 22 with a selection of over 50 German...read more ›

by Michelle Cryder Feb 18, 2025
Behind the Bar: Solomon Thomas - Ambassador, Bartender, & Industry Community Advocate

Behind the Bar: Solomon Thomas - Ambassador, Bartender, & Industry Community Advocate

In this segment of Behind the Bar, we get a chance to speak with bartender and industry community advocate, So...read more ›

by Drink Philly Feb 4, 2025
Best Oktoberfests, Festivals, Block Parties & Halloween Events to Celebrate Fall in Philly

Best Oktoberfests, Festivals, Block Parties & Halloween Events to Celebrate Fall in Philly

Crisp weather and shorter days bring a variety of autumn events to Philadelphia. From yacht parties to haunted...read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 15, 2024
Bar Palmina: Inside Look at Fishtown's Newest No-Alcohol Bar

Bar Palmina: Inside Look at Fishtown's Newest No-Alcohol Bar

One of the hottest new cocktail spots to hit the Fishtown neighborhood serves cocktails with no alcohol at all...read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 11, 2024
Rittenhouse Goes Car-Free Every Sunday in September: Here are the Best Bars to Hit

Rittenhouse Goes Car-Free Every Sunday in September: Here are the Best Bars to Hit

Center City District will close the streets allowing pedestrians to enjoy outdoor seating, music, and activiti...read more ›

by Michelle Cryder Sep 6, 2024
SPONSORED
Drink Nation Home Bar Project Bottom Rectangle 2
View all Articles

Sign up to get weekly drinking news, bar reviews, events and more sent directly to your inbox!

Close