Spirit Cruises Summer 2019 Leaderboard

A Florida Man Is Suing MillerCoors Because Coors Light Is Not, in Fact, Brewed in the Rocky Mountains

by Ryan Hudak on Mar 7, 2016 in Beer

Once again, MillerCoors is the target of a frivolous lawsuit and, once again, it is being initiated by a complete boob. After having a case thrown out where the company was being sued for referring to Blue Moon as “artfully crafted,” MillerCoors is now being attacked by Florida idiot Joaquin Lorenzo for claiming Coors Light is brewed in the Rockies. And despite still using the original brewery in the—you guessed it—Rocky Mountains, some of the Coors Light is brewed elsewhere, making the statements false.

If I were the judge, I would set a few cans of Coors in front of Lorenzo and tell him the lawsuit is his if he can tell which were and were not brewed in the Rockies at the original facility, because he wouldn’t be able to tell. Regardless of where it’s brewed, it all tastes the same. That’s the whole backbone of the macrobreweries—you know you’re going to get the same watered down swill each and every time.

Some of the phrases Lorenzo is claiming are misleading are phrases that are meaningless when looked at by a rational human being. “Proudly brewed in the Rocky Mountain tradition” – does this claim it’s brewed in the mountains? No. “Born in the Rockies” – true statement. “When the mountains turn blue it’s as cold as the Rockies” – who gives a shit? This could just as easily say “When the mountains turn blue it’s as cold as your refrigerator.” That doesn’t mean the brewery is claiming to brew the beer in your fridge.

Lorenzo’s main point of contention is that the claim of being brewed in the Rockies has allowed Coors to charge a premium for the beer and if it weren’t for that, he would have chosen something cheaper.

Really? REALLY? Let’s break that down. First, the claim that Coors charges a premium. If the price of a case of Coors Light is premium to you, I’m sorry but you just can’t afford to drink beer. And something that you can’t taste and wouldn’t know if it was there or not (the Rocky Mountain water) is what is allowing Coors to do that? Hardly. Finally, what are you going to buy that’s cheaper than Coors Light?

If the Rocky Mountains are all that’s keeping you from dropping down to Natty Light—and you’re not a college student—you’ve got serious problems, and your choice of beer is the least of them. And damn you, Joaquin Lorenzo. Not only for wasting everyone’s time by being a money-grubbing idiot, but damn you for making me side with a macrobrewery once again.

Photo via Flickr user robnguyen01

Tags: Beer
Recent Articles
spacer

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Local Winery Spotlight: Vox Vineti Wines

Local Winery Spotlight: Vox Vineti Wines

Ed Lazzerini says his goal is clear - to make world class wine in Pennsylvania. From the taste of it, he is well on his way. ...read more ›

by Drink Philly Nov 21, 2020
Best Bars for Outdoor Drinking in Philadelphia, 2019

Best Bars for Outdoor Drinking in Philadelphia, 2019

Whether it's to enjoy the first warm breezes of spring or the unexpected sunshine of a crisp day in fall, Philadelphia is full of great places to drin...read more ›

by Drink Philly Apr 11, 2019
The History of The Boulevardier Cocktail - and How You Can Make it at Home

The History of The Boulevardier Cocktail - and How You Can Make it at Home

In this history segment, we take a closer look at a classic cocktail: The Boulevardier....read more ›

by The Drink Nation Nov 2, 2020
SPONSORED
The Best Cocktail Bars in Philadelphia

The Best Cocktail Bars in Philadelphia

Here it is - the definitive list of Philadelphia's best cocktail bars....read more ›

by Drink Philly Dec 13, 2017
PA Voter Project Seeks to Pay Unemployed Restaurant Workers to Work Election Polls

PA Voter Project Seeks to Pay Unemployed Restaurant Workers to Work Election Polls

Power the Polls PA is looking for unemployed restaurant workers to work the polls and will pay for their time....read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 16, 2020
You Can Now Get Cocktails To-Go in Center City Philadelphia

You Can Now Get Cocktails To-Go in Center City Philadelphia

Restaurants throughout the Center City limits are offering pre-made cocktails in special take out containers...read more ›

by Drink Philly Jul 18, 2020
Cocktails to Go in Bars & Restaurants Legalized in PA During Lockdown: Here's Where to Get Them in Philadelphia

Cocktails to Go in Bars & Restaurants Legalized in PA During Lockdown: Here's Where to Get Them in Philadelphia

Bars & restaurants in PA can now sell cocktails-to-go. Here's where to find them in Philadelphia...read more ›

by Drink Philly May 21, 2020
Relief for the Bar, Restaurant, & Hospitality Industry in Philadelphia

Relief for the Bar, Restaurant, & Hospitality Industry in Philadelphia

Right now the hospitality industry is—to put it lightly—struggling. We created a resource directory for an...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Mar 20, 2020
Where to Host a Private Event in Philadelphia

Where to Host a Private Event in Philadelphia

Whether it's for the holidays or you have a special birthday coming up, Philadelphia has some amazing options when it comes to event spaces. ...read more ›

by Drink Philly Nov 26, 2018
Where to Find Beer, Wine, & Liquor To Go in Philadelphia During the Pandemic

Where to Find Beer, Wine, & Liquor To Go in Philadelphia During the Pandemic

Bars and restaurants are officially closed (and offering take-out and delivery only), so your favorite bartend...read more ›

by Drink Philly Mar 18, 2020
SPONSORED
View all Articles

Sign up to get weekly drinking news, bar reviews, events and more sent directly to your inbox!

Close