Drinking Costumes

Halloween is a special kind of drinking holiday, and we are here to make it just a bit more intoxicating.  Below we have gone through some popular drinking-related costumes and given them ratings based on a scale that we completely made up.

Game: Beer Pong Table

Pro: You’d be embodying every college student’s favorite past-time.

Con: Not functional.  Also, be prepared to have ping pong balls whipped at you.

Our Suggestion: Although initially funny, this one will wear off pretty quick...and nobody wants to wear a door.

Rating: 3/10

Basic: The Beer Keg

Pro: Everybody loves kegs, it’s going to attract attention.

Con: Everybody loves kegs.  Plan on being punched in the head by multiple idiots trying to pressurize you.

Our Suggestion: If you go this route, print out the logo of your favorite craft brewery to cover up the generic “beer keg” sign.

Rating: 4/10

Scary: PLCB Agent

Pro: Strike fear into the hearts of bar owners and interstate booze traffickers with this realistic costume based on rare eye witness depictions of what a PLCB agent actually looks like.

Con: You probably won’t be allowed into local bars due to their fear that you will confiscate any kegs that do not follow prohibition-era registration requirements.

Our Suggestion: This may be too scary.

Rating: 8/10

Super: Beerman

Pro: Hey!  It has Beer Holsters!

Con: It has beer holsters!  People are going to be ripping your prized possessions from your waist all night!  Plan on buying a few cases to keep you stocked.

Our Suggestion: Put cheap beer in the front holsters, and good beer in the back - where you can protect it.  Also, wear a beer helmet for the ultimate in can-carrying capacity.

Rating: 6.5/10

Lame: Beer Can Guy

Pro: If you were ever looking for a method of conveying how tasteless you are, this costume says it in so many different ways.

Con: Your hand is going to hurt from all the “bro’s” demanding high fives.

Our Suggestion: Pass on this one.

Rating: 1/10

Offensive: Tequila Guy

Pro: Wouldn’t it be great if it came with two bottles of tequila?

Con: It doesn’t come with two bottles of tequila, only bottle holsters...which could be useful on their own..

Our Suggestion: If you’re going to go this route, rent a donkey to pull and/or ride to maximize the insult.

Rating: 2/10

The Win: Beer Ghostbusters

Pro: What’s not to like about ghostbuster jumpsuits and a fully functional sixtel of delicious craft beer strapped to your back?!

Con: The weight of the sixtel may force you to be overly generous with the beer dispensing, but your back will thank you.

Our Suggestion: Check out the latest issue of Philly Beer Scene where they have instructions on how to make the backpack!

Rating: 11/10