Praise Mediocrity! $100 Billion Ab InBev, SABMiller Merger Approved By Shareholders

by Ryan Hudak on Sep 29, 2016 in Beer

Mimicking my thought process at a Chinese buffet, Anheuser-Busch InBev is making a massive push towards “quantity over quality” with a $100 billion acquisition of SABMiller.  This will give the massive company control of 27% of global watered-down beer production, which is a level of mediocrity heretofore unseen in the beer world.

In order to appease international regulators and avoid monopolizing the "shitty beer" industry, the company had to sell off some of its brands before the sale would be approved by its shareholders.  It reads like the domestic and international beer list at your local Applebee’s: Molson Coors will take over AB’s 58% interest in MillerCoors, LLC (giving the company 100% control), and Asahi Group will take over global rights to Peroni and Grolsch.  AB InBev will also sell off what would probably be its finest macro-pilsner, Pilsner Urquell.

What does this mean for the future of beer in our beloved country?  Probably not much.  This massive new venture will continue to churn out sub-par beer, but will focus on expanding in other underserved countries, especially targeting a growing market in Africa.  Other than buying up craft breweries here and there instead of trying to make good beer themselves—things will probably remain relatively unchanged. 

Additionally, chances are if you’re reading a site like this, you’re probably not drinking a whole lot of Bud Light anyway.  So keep doing the lord’s work and drinking local craft beer.  Fight the good fight, and maybe once the rest of the world catches on, this brewing behemoth will collapse under the weight of its own bloated beer belly.  Unless Africa really likes Lime-A-Ritas.  That’s when we should start to worry.

Photo via Flickr user Thomas Hawk


Tags: Beer, News
Recent Articles
spacer

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Shiner Beer Donates $100,000 to Hurricane Irma Relief

Shiner Beer Donates $100,000 to Hurricane Irma Relief

As hurricanes continue to devastate the US some breweries are helping out, including most recently The Spoetzl Brewery in Shiner, Texas. ...read more ›

by Alexander Frane Sep 19, 2017
Best Bars For Outdoor Drinking in Philadelphia, 2017

Best Bars For Outdoor Drinking in Philadelphia, 2017

Whether it's to enjoy the first warm breezes of spring or the summer's sunshine, Philadelphia is full of great places to drink in the great outdoors....read more ›

by Drink Philly Apr 11, 2017
SPONSORED
Skygarten Rectangle Ad
Philly's Best Happy Hours: Bistrot La Minette's $3 Wines, $4 Kirs, & Half-Priced First Courses

Philly's Best Happy Hours: Bistrot La Minette's $3 Wines, $4 Kirs, & Half-Priced First Courses

This week, we're turning the spotlight on Bistrot la Minette, Peter Woolsey's traditional Parisian bistro tuck...read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 19, 2017
Celebrate Fall at Spruce Street Harbor Park's Fall Fest, September 14-24

Celebrate Fall at Spruce Street Harbor Park's Fall Fest, September 14-24

Visit Spruce Street Harbor Park Thursday, September 14 through Sunday, September 24 for the Third Annual Fall ...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Sep 15, 2017
Get Ready For The Drink Philly Fall Brunch Boat Party, September 30

Get Ready For The Drink Philly Fall Brunch Boat Party, September 30

On Saturday, September 30, prepare to hoist anchor for a three-hour tour of crazy proportions. We'll sail down...read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 14, 2017
Philly's Best Happy Hours: $5 Snacks & Great Drink Specials Every Day of the Week at Bing Bing Dim Sum

Philly's Best Happy Hours: $5 Snacks & Great Drink Specials Every Day of the Week at Bing Bing Dim Sum

Our focus this week is on Bing Bing Dim Sum, the reimagined dim sum spot from Cheu Noodle Bar's Shawn Darragh ...read more ›

by Drink Philly Sep 12, 2017
Where to Celebrate Oktoberfest 2017 in Philadelphia

Where to Celebrate Oktoberfest 2017 in Philadelphia

Oktoberfest season is here, and Philadelphia is going all out with the events. From now until mid October, beer lovers and Germanophiles alike will ga...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Sep 12, 2017
You Can Get Drunk on Popcorn Now, If You Really Want To

You Can Get Drunk on Popcorn Now, If You Really Want To

A U.K. based company is making alcohol-infused popcorn at 5% ABV, if you really feel compelled to get drunk off your movie snack....read more ›

by Ryan Hudak Sep 12, 2017
A Washington Distillery Makes Pickle Vodka and We're Into It

A Washington Distillery Makes Pickle Vodka and We're Into It

Blue Spirits Distilling has created a 120-proof, pickle flavored vodka that is just begging to be poured into your next Bloody Mary....read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Sep 12, 2017
SPONSORED
View all Articles

Sign up to get weekly drinking news, bar reviews, events and more sent directly to your inbox!

Close