Spirit Cruises Summer 2019 Leaderboard

Get Swole With Protein Beer, Brah

by Ryan Hudak on Oct 12, 2015 in Culture

We all know, thanks to the work of Professor Manuel Castillo, that after a run beer and water have the same rehydration properties—which has become the basis for myriad running-for-beer groups across the country. Now, however, beer isn’t just for post-run hydration. Thanks to Supplemental Brewing, beer is taking the place of your precious Muscle Milk.

Now on Kickstarter, Supplemental is raising money to offer two beers fortified with whey protein to help you get swole up: Brewtein, a wheat ale with 7G of protein (“greater protein content than any other beer in existence”!), 13G carbs, 178 calories, and 5% ABV. If you want to go a little lighter, they’re also offering Nutribeer, a light lager with 4G protein, 7G carbs, 122 calories, and 4% ABV. Both, I’m assuming, will taste of chalk and have a gritty mouthfeel just like every other shake and bar loaded with extra protein. The fundraiser even says it is best served ice cold, which any beer drinker worth their salt will tell you freezes the tastebuds and deadens flavor.

Since they can’t give away alcohol, the Kickstarter rewards are full of your typical bro-y gym gear. Gym bags, a tank that says “Made with Whole Gainz” (and as the fundraiser boasts/apologizes, ‘Yes, it really does say “Made with Whole Gainz.”’), and even a motivational fitness quote on their label if you shell out $1,000. But the best reward comes at the $50, with the Beerbell—a three-pound beer koozie to help continue to work your biceps even while you recover with a frosty protein beer.

I can only imagine someone showing up to a party of mine with their Beerbell and “Made with Whole Gainz” tank on, probably wearing a pair of aviators and my wife asking who the hell that is and how they got into our house. But, on the plus side, if someone questions your fortitude, you can look them in the eye while you curl your Beerbell to your mouth, take a long swig of protein beer, and ask them, “Bro, do you even lift?”

Photo via Supplemental Brewing


Tags: Beer, Terrible Ideas
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